Thursday, October 6

Thursday Things I Like
A famous boffin has announced that if you spend 20 minutes a day writing about things that make you happy, then you will indeed be a super smiley person. Let's face it, I'll never to remember to do that every day but, in the style of the Friday list, each Thursday I'll spend time blogging about something I like.

This in not is a rip off of the 'Why I love...' in The Guardian G2. No way. Nope. Absolutely not.

Raindrops on roses did it for Julie Andrews, and I can see her point about the kittens' whiskers, but what I really, really like is ...

After the student years of abusing my body with endless booze and caffeine, I worked in an office with a water cooler. It was one very dull job - probably one of my lowest points employment-wise, working in a call centre for a big evil global bank, listening to idiotic business owners becoming increasingly shouty as they ranted on about their credit card machines breaking (it had usually just run out of paper or come unplugged at the wall).

So to relieve the boredom, I would make frequent trips to the water cooler for a gossip. The more bored I was, the more water I would drink. More water = more trips to the loo = more time away from the tyranny of the undereducated team leaders endlessly squawking "Calls in the queue, calls in the queue".

So water was a great excuse for getting me away from the headset. But as I drank more water, strange things started to happen. I wasn't permanently tired anymore. I wasn't as irritable. I had loads of energy and started walking absolutely everywhere.

The addiction began. First it was six glasses a day. It soon progressed to a big 2-litre bottle that had to be finished by home time. Then I needed a glass at the side of the bed, and another one when I got up in the morning.

About eight years on, it's serious. I never go anywhere without a plastic bottle in my bag. If I can't get hold of some, I start to feel a bit panicky. When I don't have any - even if I'm without it for an hour - I feel exhausted. My mouth feels mingy. I get a strange sticky film of grossness on my teeth. My wee is brown. I just feel generally icky. Oh my god, I'm an aquaholic.

1 comment:

  1. Are you sure you've not got kidney problems?