I need some new clothes. I’ve needed some new clothes for ages, but I feel guilty for buying them and find shopping generally quite stressful. I usually return from a clothes shopping session feeling fat (things don’t fit over my boobs), too tall (trousers are always too short), red-eyed (the air-con plays havoc with my contacts) and straggly-haired (I am straggly haired. I never actually brush the back of my hair because I forget and it’s boring. It’s just that usually, I don’t encounter any ‘view yourself from all angles’ mirror arrangements).
This is what I need to buy:
I hate having to spend money on work clothes, but as I spend about 10 hours of the day in my work get-up, I thought I should make an effort to look and feel nicer. Don’t worry, I’m not turning into a ‘professional’ – I’m going for funky clothes. Under no circumstances am I purchasing a flammable polyester suit from Next. There are people in my office who only wear beige, navy and black from Next. If I pick something up, I must think, ‘Would they wear this?’. If the answer is yes, I put it straight back.
I need something that’s a) warm b) waterproof c) not black or navy d) quite fitted and does not look like a sack. Does this coat actually exist? I don’t think it does. I tried to find one last year, got totally frustrated and came home with an impulse buy that was a) a puffa jacket b) black c) dull d) not waterproof and e) from M&S. I took it back the next day when my sanity had returned.
Today I am wearing a pink glittery scarf, some blue and cream stripy mittens, and a pink and black hat, none of which match each other nor the red coat I am wearing. I’m thinking stripy, bright colours, possible a few sequins… I’ll be fabulous and warm - Hurrah!
I have two cardigans that I wear on the weekend. One is my pink stripy which has been washed a squillion times. The other is a lovely glittery zip-up thing, but I realised last night that I am wearing it in a photo Mr Meep keeps in his wallet. It’s of me when we first met - I was 19! Time for a new one, I think.
So I’m toddling off to the shops on the weekend to create the all-new Miss Meep. I might even brush the back of my hair to match my new image.