The Wednesday list
(Because lists aren’t just for Fridays)
Inspired by an absent friend, here’s a list of things I used to like but that I don’t like now (in no particular order).
Well, it’s all crap innit? I’ve ranted enough about that already on this blog – Mr Meep thinks it’s all getting a bit ‘preachy’. S’one asked me today if I’d been watching ‘I’m a Celebrity’. I said no, but they still proceeded to tell me all about it for about 20 zillion hours. I wanted to scream. Or fall asleep. Or a combination of both. A Scleep.
2. Getting pissed
About 10 years ago, I’d be hungover for approximately half of my waking hours. In my defence, I worked in a call centre so drinking to forget was obligatory. Don’t get me wrong, I still like a tipple. I’m a big fan Mr Hoe and his lovely Gaarden and there’s nothing better than a glass of red in the bath on a cold Sunday afternoon. I like being tipsy and a bit giggly, but I also like to be up before the sun with a spring in my step, not lying on the sofa feeling like there are an army of angry rhinos charging around my head.
Chicklit can be done really well – I loved Bridget Jones, Lisa Jewell is fab and I’m a bit partial to a Jane Green. But when someone made up the term ‘chicklit’ it spawned a thousand badly-written novels with exactly the same plot:
Late 20something girl living in London, a bit scatty, single. Shares a flat with a friend with a sensible job (accountant, a bit of a perfectionist, a tad uptight). Has a GBF who’s very flamboyant. Girl falls for unsuitable man, GBF warns her to be careful. Her and GBF fall out. Unsuitable man cheats on her, she is heartbroken, GBF comforts her. Meanwhile, uptight flatmate realises she’s too serious, gets a new haircut and pulls a hippie bloke who persuades her to go to Nepal. Heroine meets new man. GBF buys cute puppy and meets dream boyf while walking her in park. Heroine gets married. GBF’s puppy is bridesmaid. The End.
I’ve been about a bit when it comes to globe trotting, and I’ve loved every minute of it. But when your holidays are limited to a long weekend here and a week there, I find the whole abroad thing a tad stressful. Of course, I’d love to a road trip around California or go trekking in Vietnam, but packing it into a fortnight just doesn’t appeal. So being a budget-conscious Wombly type these days, I like my holidays in Britain, involving cream teas and country walks. Blimey, you can tell I’ve hit 30.
5. Radio 1
There was a time when I thought Chris Moyles was funny. Why? He’s clearly the anti-mumpet and an absolute knobber to boot. Thank goodness for DAB, which brought with it the delights of XFM (Adam and Joe!) and 6Music (er, lots of top tunes!).
When I worked in magazines (I was “Britain’s Premier Motoring Journalist”, don’t ya know), I realised how none of them have any new ideas and that the same features get recycled year-on-year. Now I find it hard to read them at all. Tragic.
7. Cooked breakfasts
Maybe it’s because fry-ups go with hangovers and I used to have a lot of both, but nowadays I can’t face a big, hot, heavy breakfast in the morning. I want smoothies or toast or, if I’m feeling a tad continental, a croissant. Oo la la, I’m right posh, me.
8. Lying in
On Sundays, Mr Meep walks Baroness Blod and it’s my turn for the weekend lie-in. The longest I’ve managed to stay asleep over the past few weeks is 8.15am. I still like to laze about with green tea and newspapers, but just can not seem to sleep. Strange.
9. Dominos pizza
Mr Meep and I used to love this as a Sunday night treat. Now it makes me so thirsty that I have to get up in the night and down pints of water after I’ve eaten it. Odd.
Ha, only joking – that’s never been any good. I love a nice gayer.