The Friday List
10 laws I would pass if I was prime minister for a day (not all the time, because that would be a bit stressful).
1. All workplaces should have a cake trolley, staffed by a small, smiley retired gentleman with a fuzzy grey beard.
2. Everyone would be given hug tokens, which they could cash in at special hug centres when they were feeling sad/lonely/in need of a cuddle.
3. If you paint the front of your house pink, you get a 50% reduction off your council tax bill.
4. Grumpy people would be locked in a room full of baby rabbits, kittens and fairies until they cheered up.
5. Cars and roads would be made of soft, spongy stuff so you could run over rude people and smash into aggressive drivers without actually harming them.
6. On your birthday each year, a giant cake would be delivered to your house, and a horse would jump out of it and give you a huge present.
7. Weekend breaks in little houses by the sea would be available on the NHS.
8. Money would be abolished and everyone would 'pay' for things with smiles.
9. Cows would be shrunk so you could keep them as pets more easily.
10. Spitting, littering, SUVs and beetroot would be abolished.
That is what I would do if I was prime minister for the day.