Wednesday, December 20

The Splott Nativity

It was a cold, dark December night. Times were hard for the Meep family. They had one car between them, so when Mr Meep needed said vehicle to get to work, Ms Meep was left with her legs as her only form of transport (all donkeys were booked up - it's a busy time of year for them).

That day, Ms Meep had already walked the dog (1.5 miles), walked to work (1 mile), walked to meet a friend for a coffee (1 more mile). When coffees were finished at 7pm, it was time to go home.

The woman, who was tired, cold and heavy with child (well, a very small bump anyway) could not face a further 25-minute walk home. Again, there were no donkeys to be seen, so she decided to wait for the number 13 bus.

So she waited. And waited. And waited some more. She was not full of inner peace. Buzzing through her head were lots of swear words and non-angelic thoughts. When the bus eventually turned up - 20 minutes later, her face turned from a scowl to a look of awe and wonderment at the approaching vehicle, its yellow headlights lighting up her joyous face.

But as the bus approached, she saw that it was packed full of people. The bus pulled in and one person got off. A old man, who was also waiting at the bus stop, hopped on to the bus. When the lady, who was WITH CHILD remember, tried to get on, the bus driver stopped her.

"Sorry love," he said, "There is no room on the bus."

Then the doors closed and he drove off.

So she picked up her bag, which was laden with a filofax, two mobile phones, a book, an umbrella, lots of muffin wrappers and other heavy items, and wearily made her way home. Alone. In the dark. On foot.

On the way, she encountered three unwise men. They were wearing a lot of gold and shouting things at her from outside the takeaway - they had followed the shining light of the 'Kebabs' sign to get there.

When she eventually got back to Meep Towers, she retired to the sofa. She covered herself in a big patchwork blanket and nursed a bowl of vegetable curry. Around her, the livestock (Mr Zebedee Miaowington and Ms Blodwen Stinkalot) looked peacefully on. In the corner, the eco-friendly light bulb glowed dimly.

All was calm.


  1. That bus driver was well nasty!!
    Glad you and your bump made it home safely to Meep Towers.

  2. Ahhhh, poor you! I really don't like buses at all. Far too much being stranded on my own during my teens put me off greatly.

    Hope your curry and blanket warmed you up!!

  3. Bless you Miss Meep and goodwill to all Meeps. Merry Christmas and I hope you have a very wonderful New Year....

    ...and as for that bus driver? May a thousand ants infest his underpants.

    Love and cwtches
    James xxx

  4. Oh my Meep lady, thankgoodness you got home safely. I hope the bus driver gets a visit from the ghost of Christmas future!

    Have a good christmas and a peaceful and 'nestin' NY.

    Pop back to my blog some time as it will soon be time for a christmas gift of a couple of Welsh women!

  5. Hello! Just thought I would pop by via HHnB's blog.
    I seem to remember a grumpy innkeeper once refused room to a lady "great with child" - but at least he let her sleep in the stable!
    "Anlwc" (get the Welsh!)about the bus. However, I train novice bus drivers and there is another side. He would be forbidden to take more passengers than the bus was certified for (including standing)and would have been in serious trouble if he was overloaded and was inspected or seen by the police. A fine or suspension of his licence would be quite usual. Nevertheless I guess that is not much consolation to you!
    Happy Christmas and may you always get a bus seat and helpful driver in future!

  6. PS - just read your profile. What the hell are "mumpets"?

  7. Dear meep Lady, just to let you know that your Blog is appearing in Secret Hill as a 'christmas gift'. Hope that's ok with you?

  8. Thanks for explaining mumpets. A lovely word to convey a happy subject.
    May your Christmas be suitably mumpetty!

  9. hello! found you via the wonderful Secret Hill. I love the tone of your posts and will visit you again if that is ok. I am in Perth, Western Australia but what a small world, my mother (nee Hanlon) and my sister were both born in Cardiff! amazing hey. Merry Christmas